Healing Out Loud

I find myself filled with gratitude. I no longer feel anger towards my mother. I found a peace that seemed so out of reach a year ago, heck, even a few months ago. I have realized that the anger I have felt was misplaced grief. It was sadness, depression, overwhelm and disappointment. The mother I thought I knew turned out to be a stranger. The mother I thought I could trust, wasn’t real at all. She was a master at manipulating me and I trusted her blindly. She was my mother. Why would she lie?

I have spent the last two years learning the truth and learning how to accept that she will not change. She will not take accountability for her actions nor will she apologize for the devestation that she caused.

I am working on myself, to be the best person, friend, mother and wife I can be. I am doing this for myself and for my family. I deserve to be the best version of myself. I will never stop growing or changing or learning.
And if my children ever come to me and tell me that something I did hurt them, I will apologize and do what I can to make things right.

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