Healing Out Loud

I still remember the fights. She always felt entitled. She never would verbalize what she wanted but would get angry when someone else did what she wanted to do. It was very childish behavior.
Example: Dad took me shopping for my first homecoming dress. I was anxious and upset the entire time. I knew she was going to be angry. I did not know how to verbalize this at the time. After dress shopping, my dad, his girlfriend and I, went out to lunch. I felt so anxious that I could barely eat. I told Dad that mother would be angry. When Mother came to pick me up from Dad’s house, I told her that I had gone dress shopping with him and picked out a dress. She exited her vehicle, walked up to the front door, and screamed at Dad. Mother took me dress shopping that weekend and I picked one out. I didn’t wear that dress to homecoming, instead I wore the one I had picked out with Dad. I honestly do not recall why. Mother may have returned that dress and kept the money for herself. I do not recall ever seeing that dress again.

I may not remember being in that car for over seven hours, but I do remember sitting on the stairs, looking out the front door and seeing her be taken away in a police car. I was eight years old. I remember my dad saying that she was being taken to a hospital because she was ‘sick’, that was always the term he would use to describe her mental state. How would you explain to an eight-year-old that their mother was mentally unstable, delusional, and was a danger to herself and to them?

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